Health Champion Blog

We’re called the Sandwich Generation: adults caring for maturing children — who require financial, physical and emotional support — AND aging parents who may be ill, forgetful, running out of money, and unable to perform simple tasks.

One of our biggest fears is having “that conversation” with our parents. The one that begins with, “I’m worried that home may no longer be the best place for you to live anymore.”

Maybe you’ve had an initial talk and were able to modify their environment — like placing grab bars by the toilet and in the shower, removing fall risks like throw rugs, or engaging an in-home caretaker. Maybe they’ve moved closer to you or a sibling. But, eventually, they may require a higher level of care. It’s time for that conversation when you notice . . .

• old and/or spoiled food in the refrigerator and cabinets
• infrequent bathing; poor personal hygiene
• frequent bruises due to falls
• lack of movement around the house; too much time in bed
• inability to transfer from bed to chair and back again
• old and new medicine bottles scattered around the house
• infrequent eating and/or poor nutrition
• decreased ability to control urinary and fecal discharge or manage toileting

As you find yourself filled with natural feelings of guilt and confusion, remember . . .

• When they were taking care of you, they made difficult decisions to keep you safe and healthy regardless of whether you agreed with them. Now it’s your turn.
• When you visit, you see them at their best.  Unless you’re able to spend a few days, you may not see all of their struggles.
• Make sure you’re advocating change because it’s in their best interest and not simply yours. Examine your deepest motives.
• Quality of life still matters. Home is not always the best place to age; it can become isolating and depressing.

If you need help or support, use available resources.

A Geriatric Care Manager can provide a full home assessment and offer impartial recommendations. Our Health Champion@ Home is here to help when the time comes:  www.healthchampion.net.

In addition, contact your state’s Department of Aging and The National Area on Aging: www.aoa.gov .

Being responsible for two generations of loved ones — our kids and our folks — is challenging and fulfilling as we engage fully in the cycles of life. We just have to remember to breath. And to know when it’s time for new and next steps. As always, you’re invited to post your comments and questions.